Funny Horoscopes

By: Beth

Aries 3/21-4/19
    
    this month you will be extra lucky! there will be extra olives at lunch, and flowers just might grow in your room!!!!

now's the time to start thinking about bananas, because this month is the month of bananas for Aries!









Taurus 4/20-5/20

     oh, strange things will happen to you THIS month. you might find yourself running into sharp objects, and craving artichoke.you will also get your hands on blue glitter! :) this month, avoid scissors!

Gemini 5/21-6/20

       with the sign of the twin, you will find a raddish that looks like you! this is a good sign, for it means you will get along with vegetables. someone will also mistake you for someone else, wich means you should wear bright purple socks!

Cancer 6/21-7/22

      Cancer! ah! just kidding.this month is your month! they will serve lunch that you like, and a stray cat will follow you home. you will also sneeze uncontrollably one day, and run into a wall. but don't let that get you down!

Leo 7/23-8/22

     This month, if your Leo, you will have sever mood swings, and will meet a man with a giant mustache! you will find something lost, but keep it, so watch out for red pandas!!! 

Virgo 8/23-9/22

       If your a virgo, don't go outside very often this month! you might have a bus drive into your yard if you don't wear mixmatched socks! cats bring you good luck, this month!!!

Libra 9/23-10/22

         you should be careful this month! I know your sign's the scales, but this month you will be extreemely clumsy, and you will eat something your not supposed to. stay away from mushroooms!!!

Scorpio 10/23-11/21

       oooh! scorpion! your in luck this month! you will find an un opened box of pizza on the side of the road, and you will have the rare opportunity to eat candy in an unlikely class!:) but don't get to caried away, or you'll find yourself eating things off the side of the road!

Sagittarius 11/22-12/21

       you better prepare yourself for this month! you'll eat some strange tasting meat, and you'll start to like goats. but don't give in to this love, because they will turn on you!!!

Capricorn 12/22-1/19

        This month you will either shave your head, or go to the zoo! The stars will align for you, so get a telescope!!! you will also have a strange case of feather-itus where you love birds!!







Aquarius 1/20-2/18

       This month will be awsome for you! you'll have something on sale you love, or you'll see a rainbow. but if you don't like rainbows, take this as a sign of bad luck!!!







Pisces 2/19-3/20

       For pisces, this is your creative month! you will have the rare opportunity to use tons of glitter, or you will have a fun assignment in class! just, don't get TOO confident, luck deosn't last forever!